


And He Fell |Loki Odinson|

by Bulbachu



Category: Loki: Agent of Asgard, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Anxiety, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/F, F/M, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki Has Issues, M/M, Original Character(s), Panic Attacks, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Thor (Marvel) Needs a Hug, agent of Asgard is mentioned, jouney into mystery is mentioned if you squint, lots of death, minor thorbruce, more tags to be added later, references of rape/non con, some of the characters are gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2020-01-01 09:10:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18333005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bulbachu/pseuds/Bulbachu
Summary: One year after the Snap, a teenage boy dressed in green and gold passes through Wakanda’s borders with his hands in his pockets. The remaining Wakandans stare at the pale boy with raven black hair as he walks too casually through the town and eats an apple. He throws the core in the middle of the street as he reaches the palace. He slips past the guards and goes to find his brother among the group of superheroes living in there with a mischievous grin on his face.Being reborn was such a chore.





	1. Chapter 1

Loki Laufeyson was born twice. First, as the God of Mischief and Lies and then again as the God of Stories. He really wasn’t planning on dying to Thanos’ hands, but Fate was never on Loki’s side. His mother died first; and the thing was, she never would’ve died if Loki hadn’t told the monster to take the stairs to the left. She never would’ve died if Loki hadn’t been in that damn cell. 

After his mother, things started going downhill. Loki “died” and took Odin’s spot as All-Father, stripping him of his power and stranding him on Earth. Rumors started surfacing that enemies of Asgard started coming together and planning to bring Asgard to its knees, and Loki, disguised as his adoptive father, chose to neglect them. A few months later, Thor’s arrival and the actions that followed forced Loki to shatter his illusion completely. Hours later, Odin died and their sister decided that the throne was her’s. Their sister surpassed them in battle, and she knocked Loki out of the Bifrost.

And so Loki fell. 

He screams for five days and five nights, in hopes that someone, anyone, can hear him but his voice emits no sound. He screams for his brother to save him, save him from falling once more into the clutches of the Mad Titan. He screams for his mother and his father to comfort him, but in the Void, Loki’s voice produces no noise. And so he falls, until he falls into a dirty, trash filled river. 

It takes him two hours to haul himself out of the river and find shelter. It then takes an entire week for the panic attacks and tears to stop. On the Tuesday after he fell into the Void, Loki leaves his shelter and slaughters seven scavengers who had tried to bite into his flesh. On Thursday, he finally makes it to a city. He learns from a couple that this place is called Sakaar, and the only way for him to get back home is to speak with the Grandmaster. 

That night, he sleeps in an abandoned ship. 

The following morning, Loki goes to what he assumes is the Grandmaster’s castle. He hides himself with an illusion from the guards, slips past them and into an elevator. A purple woman with bright pink hair stands next to him holding a tray of drinks. 

“Just because I can’t see you doesn’t mean I don’t know you’re there.” She says cheerfully into the open air. Loki gets rid of his illusion and greets the curious eyes of the girl. She takes one look at his unkempt hair and sets down the drink tray. She reaches up to move a strand of hair that was out of place. Loki flinches slightly and she frowns, pulling her hand away and picks the tray up again. “If you’re meeting with the Grandmaster,” She says. “You might want to tidy yourself up a bit. He’s not overly fond of untidy people.” 

“Thank you?” Loki says it like a question and he uses magic to shift into his battle armor. The girl gives him a sad smile and shakes her head. “I’m afraid I didn’t hear a word you just said. I left my hearing aids on my bedside table this morning, and I haven’t had a chance to go get them.”Loki nods his head and lifts up his hands slowly.‘Do you know sign language?’He signs, and the girl gives him a look.“Of course I know sign language!” She teases. “My name is Sarah, if you were wondering. And I hope you know that you’re probably going to be here awhile.”   
‘What do you mean?’ Loki gives her a baffled look. “The Grandmaster is very opened minded. And you’re handsome enough to catch his eye. If you were planning on leaving, you might want to put a pin in it.” She shrugs with a smile on her face. 

The elevator dings and the doors open with ease. Sarah walks out of the door and to the left, leaving Loki behind to find his way to the Grandmaster. 

Loki does find him eventually. And to his amusement, Sarah was right; the Grandmaster seemed to really like the God. He talks with the Grandmaster about leaving and the Grandmaster laughs. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” He says after he calms down. “Were you thinking about leaving? Sorry to say, but you aren’t going anywhere.”

The Grandmaster gives Loki his own chambers in the west wing. It is just a bit smaller than his room in Asgard but Loki curls up onto the mattress and sighs. Two hours later, Sarah walks in to see Loki mumbling in his sleep and shaking. She walks over to his shaking form and sets a glowing hand on his arm. He jumps up and slams her against the wall, a knife to her throat. Her purple eyes stare into Loki’s as she waits for his knife to leave her throat. 

Minutes later, he blinks and drops her on the ground. He backs away and sits on the bed, propping his head in his hands and letting tears fall. Sarah stands in front of him and hugs him, pressing his face to her stomach as she runs circles around his back. 

Four days after his breakdown, when he is talking to some civilians, Thor arrives. He practically leaps from his seat and runs to him. His brother, his big brother was here. Where Loki knew he was safe. And he would’ve been even more overjoyed if his brother wasn’t strapped to a chair and had an obedience disk stuck in his neck. 

He was going to be thrown in the pit, Loki realizes. He looks at the Grandmaster in disbelief that even after he learned they were brothers, he was still going to have Thor fight his champion. That night after he visits Thor where is is being kept, Sarah clings to him as he weeps. 

Over the weeks he has been on Sakaar, Loki learned that Sarah was about 100 years younger than him and that she has a fiancé waiting for her on their home planet. “When you’ve lived as long as I have,” She says one morning when she brings Loki breakfast. “You learn a thing or two about making pancakes.” Loki lights up in excitement after he takes a bite and demands more of whatever these “pancakes” were. With a laugh and the shake of her head, Sarah leaves to get more. 

“Do you think he will win?” She asks on the day of Thor’s fight. Loki raises an eyebrow at her. “Of course he will. Why? Who is he going up against?” Sarah shrugs and walks away to talk to the other servants. Loki sighs and walks into the viewing room. Minutes later, the Hulk bursts through a wall and roars. 

Everything moves fast after that. 

Thor and Banner escape Sakaar with the help of Valkyrie and Loki is left on the ground with electricity running through his veins. A man of rocks saves Loki and so Loki leads the man and his friends to Asgard. He doesn’t look too carefully at the group of misfits and when he is steering the ship, a hand clamps around his shoulder. Loki jumps and draws a knife, directing it to his intruder’s throat. 

“Jeez Lokes, how many times are you gonna put a knife to my throat?” Sarah says and snatches the knife from his hand. Loki grumbles at the nickname and looks up at her in concern. “What’s in Odin’s name are you doing here?! It’s too dangerous!” His voice is laced with concern and Sarah scoffs. “I’m not a helpless little girl, Loki. I can fight!” She says with a hand on her hip. “No,” Loki says, shaking his head. “No. I’m not going to be the one to tell your fiancé that you died for someone like me.” Loki says sternly. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Sarah yells. Loki’s hands clench around the wheel. “I’m fighting, Loki. Whether you like it or not.” Sarah says sternly. “So be it.” Loki growls and turns his attention to the darkness in front of him. Sarah abandons him in the cockpit with a frown on her face and her hands clenched at her sides. 

Loki feels like he’s falling. He uses the Tesseract to teleport himself onto the ship filled to the brink with Asgardians and finds his brother. “Where is she?” Loki asks anxiously. Thor looks Loki over for any injuries and shrugs. “Who?” Loki stumbles over to the drink tray and pours himself a shot. “Sarah. Where is she?” He knocks back the shot and goes to pour another. Thor grabs Loki’s arm with a gentle hand to stop him. “Describe her to me, Loki.” Thor says softly. Loki nods stiffly. “She has gleaming pink hair and purple skin. She was my servant-no-my friend when I was on Sakaar.” Thor nods and pulls Loki into a hug. “We’ll find her, little brother. I promise.” He whispers in Loki’s ear and so Loki clings himself to his brother and cries. 

They find Sarah in the makeshift medwing two hours later with her arm in a sling and a smile on her face. “Sarah,” Loki breathes and flings his arms around the girl. People turn their heads to stare at the dark prince acting so soft towards a random girl. “What happened? Are you alright? Where-“ He rambles. Sarah places her free hand on his shoulder. “Your sister merely grazed me with her sword. I’m fine, Lokes.” She flings her free arm around him and kisses his forehead. “I’m fine.” 

Thor gives Sarah a room near his and Loki’s. To Loki’s delight, Sarah still comes and brings him breakfast every day, even if it isn’t pancakes. A month passes and Loki finds himself next to Thor looking out the window and at the stars beyond. Loki senses him before his ship appears. Loki grabs Thor’s arm and tells him to gather everyone to the common area. After everyone arrives, Loki tells them someone is coming and that whoever wishes to fight, should stay here. 

The people who wish to fight prepare in the common area while the others board onto the escape pods. Loki sees Sarah try to sneak out of the escape room. He grips her shoulder and pulls her into a hug. “I will not allow you to fight this battle, sister.” Loki says into her hair as Sarah stills beneath him. “Loki, I-“ Sarah is cut off when Loki practically throws her into an escape pod and the door closes. “Loki!” She screams from inside the pod and slams her fist against the glass. Loki runs a hand through his hair and leaves as he hears the pod shoot off into space.

Soon after, Thanos appears. Loki gives up the Tesseract and hears his neck crack under the pressure of Thanos’ gauntlet. And Loki feels himself falling once more.

When Loki wakes, he opens his eyes slowly. He sits up and looks around at his surroundings. It’s pitch-black, besides the horned helmet sitting atop a pedestal. Loki presses a hand on one of the horns and grimaces. 

“They cry for you.” The voice comes from behind him. Loki turns around, hand still on the horn, and sees the childlike version of himself standing with a raven on his shoulder. “What are you doing here?” Loki asks as the child giggles. “I’m here to help you get back to them!” The child says. “All you need to do is put on the helmet, and you will become the God of Mischief once more!” Loki stares at the child, confused. “Was I not the God of Mischief before?” He asks. “Oh you absolutely were,” The child shakes his head. “But you were also a completely different thing.” Loki hums and takes his hand off of the helmet, kneeling in front of the child. “What was I then?” Loki’s eyes stare into the child’s. “A mutation.” The child says unblinkingly. “What are you talking about?” Loki growls. The child looks up at him. “Something was added to your code. A virus of some sorts.” 

“What kind of virus?” Loki asks, eyes flashing. “You became more that what you were supposed to be, Loki Odinson. If you would just put on the helmet, you could go back to being what you were meant to be: the God of Mischief and Lies and nothing more.” 

Loki draws a knife and plummets it into the child’s chest. The raven caws and fluffs its wings out. The child looks down and and then back up at Loki. Blue pours down the child’s chest and into the Void below. “I determine my destiny,” Loki snarls and rips the knife out of the child’s chest. The raven flies away as he stumbles back, gasping. “Not some bastard with a disgraceful outfit.” 

Loki pushes the child down and walks over the the pedestal, picking up the helmet. “I will write my own story. And no one will stand in my way.” He sets the helmet on his head and falls. 

One year after the Snap, a teenage boy dressed in green and gold passes through Wakanda’s borders with his hands in his pockets. The remaining Wakandans stare at the pale boy with raven black hair as he walks too casually through the town and munches on an apple. He throws the core in the middle of the street as he reaches the palace. He slips past the guards and goes to find his brother among the group of superheroes living in there with a mischievous grin on his face. 

Being reborn was such a chore.


	2. Chapter 2

The first thing the God of Stories notices when he walks into the Wakandan palace is that the guards are certainly unprepared to fight a god. Loki’s glamour conceals him from the guards and from the few people he notices he can only assume are new additions to the Avengers. It doesn’t matter though. What matters right now is finding his brother and fixing their relationship before it becomes too strained. 

Loki allows a sigh escape his lips as he walks through the twisting halls of the palace, trying to find his way to his brother. 

“He’s a mad man, Natasha,” Announces a voice coming from the hall to the right. Loki’s breath hitches, and he presses himself against the opposite wall. He listens to Steve Rodgers and Natasha Romanov argue about what the next step they should take should be as they pass by. 

They almost get to the end of the hall when Natasha suddenly stops. “We’re being watched.” She whispers. The small God sucks in a breath as she walks past him, looking right beyond his head. She looks around once more before shrugging and walking back to Steve. 

“Excuse me! Coming through!” 

Loki becomes as still as a board against the wall and he has to take a deep, quivering breath in to prevent his anxiety from taking over. 

Sarah hurries past him, carrying a tray of tea. Steve and Natasha watch her curiously when she suddenly stops in the middle of the hallway and sets the tray down. She walks until she stands right in front of Loki and her eyes well up with unwanted tears. 

“You’re a little shit, you know that?” She says dryly. Loki releases his glamour with a sigh, and hangs his head. “I know.” He says, even though he knows Sarah can’t hear him. 

He hears it before he sees it. The sound of a blade coming out of its scabbard is not an unfamiliar sound to Loki and he instinctively knocks Sarah out of the way before she can get injured. 

Once he knows she’s safe, Loki blocks the dagger with a shimmer of green magic and he allows himself have a brief moment of satisfaction when he hears it hit the floor. “Who the hell are you?” Natasha growls when she sees the dagger bounce off the shield and onto the floor. 

“Why, Agent Romanov? Don’t you remember?” Loki chuckles. “We had such a lovely conversation when I was secured in that cell.” Natasha’s eyes widen with realization. “Loki,” Steve speaks up first, hands clenching and unclenching with each second that passes. 

“Damn,” Loki jokes. “I can not believe you caught me. Now, as fun as this conversation has been, I’m afraid I’m on a mission to see my brother. Now if you’ll excuse me..” He helps Sarah up and gives her a faint smile, leading her away from the two Avengers and into the hallway to the left. 

They make it down two more hallways before the alarms start blaring in Loki’s ears. ‘Where’s Thor?’ Loki signs, while cringing at the noise. Sarah sighs and clutches his hand, leading him through the halls. 

“What happened to you?” She asks suddenly. “I mean, one moment we’re together on the ship and the next Thor tells me that you’re dead.” Loki tries to pull away his hand so he can answer but she pulls tighter. “Don’t bother signing. Stark is working on making me hearing aids. I’m wearing the prototypes right now.”

Nodding, Loki sighs and begins his tale. “I did die,” He starts quietly. “When I opened my eyes it was dark. There was a pedestal with my helmet on it. My childlike spirit was there with a magpie sitting on his shoulder. And then I slaughtered him. I rebuilt my body and now I’m here.” Whatever Sarah wants to say, it gets cut off by a blast of light striking her in the face. 

She falls onto the floor with a yelp and Loki steps in front of her, growling in anger. The Iron Man suit stands in front of them with its hand raised, preparing to fire again. Loki summons a dagger in his left hand and a bolt of magic in his right. Sarah groans behind him and he quickly sends a wave of healing magic around her body. 

“Back off, Stark.” The God snarls, letting his magic burn brighter. The man in the suit seems to get the message and takes a step back, lowering his hand. The Iron Man mask falls away into nothingness and Loki stands face-to-face with the man he threw out of a window all those years ago.

He turns around and holds out a hand for Sarah to grab and pulls her off the ground gently. Sarah places a unsteady hand on her burnt cheek and hisses from the pain. “Here, allow me help,” Loki mumbles replacing her hand with his glowing one, letting his magic heal her. “Thanks.” She mumbles, flushing from embarrassment. “You’re welcome.” Loki smiles and squeezes her hand to comfort her. 

“Thor said that you died.” Tony says through gritted teeth. Loki shrugs. “I did. But now I’m back,” Loki turns in a circle. “And in a new body, nonetheless.” 

“I’m taking you to Thor.” Tony snarls, grabbing the God’s wrist and dragging him along, leaving Sarah to walk behind them in silence. 

Loki is not prepared for this.

If he were more honest with himself, Loki might admit that in all of his long years, he has never been more terrified than he is now. He can already feel Thor’s power radiating from across the hall and feels himself start to slip. He feels his breathing start to quicken and he rips his hand out of Tony’s and stumbles back. 

“I can’t,” Loki says suddenly, curling into a defensive position. “Loki?” Sarah asks and then he’s falling. Falling from the Bifrost. Falling through the void. Falling into Thanos’ clutches. And it all comes crashing, crashing, crashing until he becomes nothing more than a speck of dust on someone’s shoulder. Easy to brush off and easy to forget. 

And then there’s hands. Hands on his tear stained cheeks. Then there are hands on his arms and around his waist. Pulling him out of the infinite sea of hatred and fear that is his mind. 

He opens his eyes wide enough to see Thor’s face and cries harder. Cries for his mother. For his father. And for the sister he will never be able to know. He feels Thor move to conceal his shaking body from prying eyes and in the chaos, he makes a note to thank him later. 

“I’m sorry” he hears himself say; a voice without a body. 

“Shhh” the other voice, Thor, says. 

Loki knows he’s shaking like a leaf under his brother’s grasp but he’s too frightened to care. 

“Well,” He says. “Get it over with then.” 

“What’re you talking about?” Thor says, stroking his brother’s hair soothingly.

He hears himself chuckle dryly. 

“We made a promise when we were boys, didn’t we brother? To slay all monsters that cross our path.” Thor’s hand stills on Loki head.“So kill me.”

“You’re not a monster, Loki.” His brother-no Thor says. 

Liar.

“I hate you,” He weeps. “I hate you   
IhateyouIhateyou.”Two drops of water fall upon Loki’s hair. And then somehow he feels his mother’s magic surround him. Thor feels it too, he realizes. 

His mother’s magic.

He feels hands reach into his mind and pull him out of the darkness. 'You’re safe' They seem to say. 

Loki feels his breathing slow and he takes a shaky breath in. He pushes himself closer to Thor and grabs his shirt. His brother clings to him as he weeps silently into his shirt, still stroking his hair.

“I’m sorry.”


End file.
